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Acceptance

This is not the way would have chosen to live the remainder of my life — tied to a tube in my gut.
I wouldn’t choose to get up every morning at 6:15; I’m retired, I like to stay up late and sleep in — but in order to meet a 5-times-a-day feeding schedule I have to get up early.

I wouldn’t choose to weigh 182 pounds and have my cheek bones protrude; I have pictures of when I was a big guy, strong, and maybe even handsome — but the science of the nutrition that I consume indicates this is my ideal weight and body composition.

I wouldn’t choose to go for a walk while great-smelling meal is being prepared; I used to hang around the kitchen talking with my wife as she prepared our meals, taking in the wonderful smells and even being treated to an occasional taste — but now those smells bring too much longing and even the smallest taste is taboo, it’s better that I just let my wife do her kitchen work by herself.

Many years ago I had cancer and I would often hear the doctors talk about something called the ‘5-year survival rate’. Back then, surviving for 5 years seemed like an impossible dream. Yet I’ve survived for more than 3 times that long.

And if I use this tube in my gut correctly, I may survive a little while longer. A little more following old schools mates or former students on Facebook, a little more encouraging the hopes and dreams of my adult grandchildren, a little more watching my sons and their wives make successes of their lives. Yes, and even a little more time with the woman who snuggles up next to me every night.
You know what? I’ll take a little more! And I’ll try my best not to consider Living on a PEG as what I have to settle for or just the way things worked out — as best I can, day-to-day, I’m going to strive to accept my PEG as life-saving gift from modern science.
Have a great PEG day!
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